FrankStock 2010 – Update
JOE JORDAN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY BIRTH!!
Well, umm… I’ll explain more on that melodramatic claim later. Anyway, I’m pretty sure the title of this column gives away the topic here: How is the preparation for FrankStock 2010 going? Well, the whole event is rather wild in its evolution all the way to November 13th at Lakeside Ballroom (between Mahanoy City and Tamaqua). I can only imagine our bassist Steve-O, who is coordinating a great majority of this whole event, is in a mental state of numbness by now. Outside of that, I’m getting incredibly eager and anxious.
Why? Well, one of my guesses is that Tina-palooza spoiled my band rotten. “Tina-palooza”, also at the Lakeside Ballroom, was the charity event that we in Toolshed Jack put together (with the help of an amazing cast of supporters) in February of 2009. I personally (admittedly) did very little to prepare for the creation or execution of that event other than not have a flat tire on the way there. But Steve-O and our guitarist Joel did quite a bit to organize the event to benefit a lady named Tina Dixon who was going through some major medical operations at the time. So for Steve-O, Joel, and many others who contributed to all the behind-the-scenes stuff, it was a lot of tough (but incredibly rewarding) work.
So how did Tina-palooza spoil us in Toolshed Jack? Well, the crowd was AMAZING, that’s why. This is the greedy bastard part of me that I don’t like to show in my poker hand onstage, but whenever I play to huge crowds, I get trillions of happy little goosebumps. I LOVE BIG CROWDS. Tina-palooza had over 600 people in attendance, and when about half of the crowd was dancing to our music, I got spoiled. I love big dance-floor crowds. How much so? In a hypothetical scenario, I’d rather play to a crowd of 50,000 fans than a crowd of 50 Playboy covergirls. Not that there’s anything wrong with 50 Playboy covergirls, trust me… I just love big crowds.
So now that Tina-palooza gives me the cute-and-fuzzy-bunnies every time I reflect on it, I am now nervous that FrankStock won’t live up to it. You see, this benefit is not an event like ‘By the way, we’ve rented out a tiny apartment-sized room for people to show up for a tiny effort to donate small pocket change to charity.’ WE WANT TO FILL LAKESIDE BALLROOM! And for those of you that have never been there, capacity is over 3,000. Ok, so we won’t fill it like back in the 1960’s when the Jordan Brothers used to play there (remember: “JOE JORDAN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY BIRTH!!”?? Later, I promise.), but we would love a large kick-ass crowd to go crazy with. And of course every single penny, after minor expenses are paid off, goes to the American Cancer Society.
So in my small personal effort to make FrankStock even better than Tina-palooza was, I told Steve months ago that I knew a way I can actually help this time and contribute to this event: I’ll be in charge of t-shirts. And the moment I told Steve this, I knew I’d be screwed. Why? Well, t-shirts don’t just fall out of the sky. You have to design and purchase them, which costs money. I was so afraid I’d be the part of the event that LOST money for the American Cancer Society. Can you imagine??:
FRANKSTOCK PROFITS FOR A.C.S.:
-Ticket Sales: $ Several Thousand
-50/50 chance sales: $ Several Hundred
-Brian’s stupid idea to sell t shirts nobody wanted because his taste in shirt design rivals an elementary school student who lights his own farts: $ NEGATIVE Hundreds
Ugh. I don’t need that kind of dim spotlight. “Hey, there’s Brian… The only disappointment of the night!” So for the first clever time in my life, and the nervous fear that my financial part of this event would be in the red, I tapped the greatest resource of all: SPONSORS!! Yes!! How about we do one of those t shirt grids where we sell advertising space to local businesses and just take their donated money from that to buy the t shirts and then give as many t shirts away that we can… for FREE!! No negative hundreds! No in the red! Make them a ‘crowd-appreciation’ gift for their $10 admission and toss them to anyone on the dance floor! At least we won’t LOSE money!!:
-Ticket Sales: $ Several Thousand
-50/50 chance sales: $ Several Hundred
-Brian’s nervous idea/goal to only break even on t shirts just so he doesn’t embarrass himself: $ 0.
And the last time I checked, zero is NOT a negative number. So yes, there will be around 70 FrankStock 2010 t shirts being flung into the crowd during the night… for free. 
I hope you get your size. If you don’t, trade. Get to know the people around you that are elbowing you in the eye socket as they dive for free t shirts. Now that I think about it, please don’t elbow people for these t shirts, especially in the eye socket, because I will have $0 to buy any ice packs.
Ok, so we covered some of the stuff about FrankStock in this update, so now I have to talk again about Joe Jordan, who is scheduled to be back singing with Another Side at FrankStock 2010. Rather than explain it all again this year and this weird fascination of mine, I must refer you to two blogs I wrote about this local legend from my band’s MySpace 2009 blogs right before and after Tina-palooza. Please come back and read the rest of this column when you’re done:
Blog 1: Nice to meet you, Mr. Joe Jordan
Now that you’ve read both (and have somehow survived even more of my blathering, God bless ya…), I recently found out why I have a fascination with the Jordan Brothers in a cosmic Karma kind of way: Joe Jordan and his brothers are responsible for my birth. I just found this out recently from my dad, to whom I was relaying the story of the upcoming FrankStock, and how Joe Jordan will again be making a guest appearance to sing with the second band of the night, Another Side. My dad said “You know, I met your mother for the first time at Willow Lake in Schuylkill Haven at a Jordan Brothers performance.”
…YOU DID??? HUH?? Oh, I TOTALLY need more info on this, dad! My mother, who was there, then started to tell me about how almost every weekend, back in the 1960’s and into the 1970’s, Schuylkill County was DOMINATED by fans going to see the Jordan Brothers each weekend. Friday and Saturday nights they played at Willow Lake, and Sundays at none other than … Lakeside Ballroom! Thousands of people, standing room only, each and every performance. You did not exist in Schuylkill County unless you were going to see the Jordan Brothers. And at one of their many performances was where my mother from Mahanoy City met my father from Port Carbon.
So without the Jordan Brothers and their county-wide popularity, my parents would not have an outstanding venue in which to meet. Joe Jordan is (partly) responsible for my birth, or at least the spark of it. If these shows of theirs did not ever exist or were as popular, then my hand starts to disappear like Marty McFly’s in Back To The Future. Maybe we should play “Johnny Be Good” as our opening song to FrankStock and hopefully I can leave the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance just in time to drive my DeLorean.
Anyway, please plan on attending FrankStock 2010. If you’re still awake after all of my journalism here, please read my previous FrankStock article for much more actual information. And most importantly, if you actually own a DeLorean, find out for me what the hell is a jigawatt, especially 1.21 of them.
-Brian from Toolshed Jack
Brian@PAMusicScene.com
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