Lyrics of Fury

Here is a song’s verse I wrote:

MY EYES ARE FROM THAT
DON’T SEND ME NO LOVE
BIG PRICE TO HOLD ON
I KNOW YOU WERE THERE

In these rock and roll lyrics that were easily inspired by Mad Libs, many of you out there totally ‘get it’. You read them and say “I’m with you, maaaannnnn….” You’ve probably read or heard a thousand lyrics just like it. But parts of my colon might be located somewhere in the third line, because I completely pulled the entire verse right out of my ass. I have NO IDEA what it means. Totally random and senseless. But throw a good steady beat behind it and I’m on the red carpet at the Grammy’s.

Many bands here on PAMusicScene write their own lyrics. I applaud you; I am jealous. Rock and Roll lyrics frustrate me to no end. And I know why: For me they’re always WAY too vague, which makes business sense because it is the correct way to appeal to as many people as possible. Nobody likes MY favorite type of lyrics: Those very ‘specific’ or those that are ‘funny’. Let me explain. . .

When I listen to music, I like to get a message out of it without much thought. I don’t want to hear lyrics to a song and then go into a brainstorming session about what the hell I just heard. And to me almost all lyrics are just like mine from above. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was accidentally copyright-infringing out there somehow.

What’s the opening verse I wrote actually about? Damned if I know. Gut reaction tells me it is probably about a girl, that is if you’re a guy, or vise versa. It kind of appeals to everyone, because everyone, except Osama Bin Laden, has at least once been in love. So when you get the most people to be on the same page with it, you get the biggest audience, no duh. But the fact that the message is vague leaves everybody (at least me) scratching their heads in confusion, just like as if I laughed at an obituary or something. However everyone can relate to something in there, even though as a lyricist I now have to follow up the next verse with a catchy hook of a chorus that gets repeated over and over until it becomes an earworm stuck in your brain:

COME WITH ME
TAKE MY TRUTH
NEED NO PAIN
SEVEN TEN SPLIT

I personally can’t take these vague lyrics in big doses when I listen because I need clarity and closure to my favorite songs. I need a song like this one that tells me exactly what’s going on:

AT 7:56 AM EASTERN STANDARD TIME
WE ENTERED WAL-MART WITH A GIFT CARD
I SAID HELLO TO THE NICE OLD MAN
THE WATCH COST 46 DOLLARS AND 23 CENTS

I myself totally “get it”, although I’m pretty sure this much detail will not allow the rest of you to escape into the dreamland of rock and roll we’ve all been programmed to visit. But now at least I don’t have to think as much!

On the other hand, I also like songs that I can relate to, such as the one I wrote last year, bored to death, during one of my band Toolshed Jack’s sound checks: It’s a blues song I wrote, called the “Sound-Check Blues”, into which I poured an entire 15 seconds of my soul. Since it’s a blues song, between each line, you have to slow down the beat and do that “ba-DA-da-da-DUM”… thing:

IT’S TIME TO SOUND CHECK AGAIN (ba-DA-da-da-DUM…)
I REALLY HATE DOING THIS
WE ALWAYS PLAY THE SAME SONG
AND I REALLY HAVE TO PISS (ba-DA-da-da-DUM…)
I UNDERSTAND THIS IS NEEDED
AND IMPORTANT, I KNOW
BUT IT SUCKS-I HATE IT-WE ALL DO-
AND IT REALLY DOES BLOW
I GOT THE SOUND-CHECK BLUES, yeahhhhh….
—Harmonica solo

I think this has plenty more appeal. But anyway, since I’m in a cover band, we never write our own song lyrics. Not that we haven’t tried. Our lead singer Steve-O would LOVE to write his own lyrics to a song for us to play and jam to, but I’m afraid they would all be about his favorite topic to talk about: All the ex-bands he’s been in. Our lead guitarist Joel recently came up with, at least, an outstanding NAME for a song (‘Funk Bed’), but I don’t know if there are any other words to his work-in-progress. Since he’s a physical therapist, I think he might fall into a trap when he tries to rhyme something with “Posterior Cruciate Ligament”.

So needless to say, I am jealous of all of you bands here on PAMusicScene that write your own lyrics. I have a pretty nice life and I don’t have too much heartache, and maybe that’s my issue with lyrics, too. Many people out there have been through absolute devastation in their lives and have actual trauma, unlike me, to pour their emotion into poetically. I consider myself extremely lucky, so that’s why I’m not against the art of people writing good heartfelt lyrics. Go right ahead: Not that you need my permission by any means, but knock yourselves out. However if you don’t mind I’d like to end my column here with a sentimental verse of words for you all to live by:

I WON’T TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU
KISS OR HUG YOU
CAUSE I’M BLUFFIN’ WITH MY MUFFIN
I’M NOT LYING, I’M JUST
STUNNIN’ WITH MY LOVE-GLUE-GUNNIN’

… Whatever the hell THAT means.

Brian from Toolshed Jack