TSJ Street Team
…And I know that they’re a great band, but here’s why I think ZZ Top is ‘greedy’…
… By naming themselves ‘ZZ Top’, they practically guaranteed themselves last place in the alphabetical listing of history’s rock bands. How can any band beat that? Even if I try to name my band something like “Zygote”, which is alphabetically damn impressive starting with a Z and then Y, I STILL am not in last place! Pretty greedy of ZZ Top, I think. To actually win the last-place battle, I’d have to seem desperate and name my band after the sound I make when I snore.
…Ok, that really has nothing to do with this column’s topic: It is just my way to try and continue to mess with Gina Tutko-Usalis (BTW, I’m still trying to be promoted to Assistant Vice-President of PAMusicScene.com, from my current job of Envelope Taster). I suspect Gina only reads the first paragraph of my columns when I submit them to her, as she then passes them off in her mind as stupid blathering garbage, as she then quickly and without care posts them on the website, and then she is off conquering the world or whatever she does for herself. Plus this time I want to throw her off a little bit on the introductory blurb of words that appears on PAMusicScene.com’s main page; I want the teaser intro words she chooses to have nothing to do with the actual column topic within (we’ll see if she catches it). I need to find better things to do for myself.
Actually, my real topic in this column makes me (yet again) look like the most naïve guy on the Planet of Cover Band Rock and Roll. It’s about a concept I still cannot wrap my head around: The topic of a “Street Team”. Recently, Toolshed Jack gained a Street Team person (since she’s working solo, is she a ‘Street Lady’?), through me, almost (i.e. ‘probably’) by accident.
Her name is Antoinette, but since she likes to be called “Toni”, I will give her that consideration she deserves and call her “Agnes”. No, seriously, Toni is from Schuylkill County, and I somehow caught her correspondence through Facebook. If there is one thing I am talented at in this world, it is bullshitting on Facebook, so getting a hold of me there is like finding sand near the ocean. I’m listed under ‘Brian – Toolshed Jack’. Genius name, I know.
Toni informed me that she did some ‘Street Team’ work for bands before. And dummy me, of course, I have no idea at the time what a street team is. I will now give you the basic synopsis of the chat conversation I had with her about street teaming:
ME: What is a ‘Street Team’?
TONI: We help bands like yourselves get promotion and customers to your gigs.
ME: Ok, but what is a ‘Street Team’?
TONI: We can hand out or post flyers if you like, or we can talk to people and tell them how amazing your band is so they’ll be inspired to show up that evening.
ME: ….. What’s the catch?
TONI: None, really. People like myself really like to help out.
ME: That’s very nice. . . . . . What’s the catch?
TONI: No catch. I just want to help you and your band out.
ME: Thank you for the clarity. What’s the catch?
TONI: You sound skeptical.
ME: I am. I don’t get this at all. You say that basically you volunteer your free services for a band like mine.
TONI: Yes.
ME: What’s the cat …
TONI: There really is no catch. Please ask me any question you like if this is too difficult to understand.
ME: Toni, I apologize. I am way too much of a conspiracy guy to absorb your no-strings-attached generosity here. You seem incredibly nice, but let me ask you a series of questions to help me understand this a little better…
TONI: Go right ahead.
ME: Ok, so you’re saying that you are going to donate your time to advertise for our band on the streets of whatever town we play.
TONI: Correct.
ME: … And you don’t expect money payment, other than what?
TONI: Well, some bands have given us a t-shirt or something to show appreciation for our help. We will take whatever payment or gifts the band decides is good for us to have, but we don’t volunteer our time for the purpose of payment.
ME: … You mean you only get a lousy t-shirt for standing around places like street corners for hours to get people to show up to our jobs?
TONI: I don’t do this for every band. I like you guys and your music, so this is something I want to do for your band to help get the word out about your shows.
ME: . . . So what’s the catch?
On and on and on. This lasted for about an hour. This is the reason why Toni will be guaranteed a spot in Heaven, or at least minimal Purgatory, because of my earthly torture.
Even to this day I don’t get the idea of ‘Street Teaming’, other than a couple people that are genuinely nice folks that want to be part of a band’s whole atmosphere any way they can. From my standpoint as the band dude, I can’t grasp why anyone would want to volunteer their efforts just to get us bigger crowds. It sounds 100% selfless, which surprises me, considering this day and age we are in.
So I get to meet Toni at our Mountain Valley gig on Friday evening July 16th, 2010. She’s bringing a video camera to take footage of us doing our crazy rock and roll thing. I’ll let you know how things work out, and perhaps if you live in Minersville you might see her roaming around Friday July 23rd with TSJ flyers and stuff. Please be nice to her, because for some reason she is doing this out of the goodness of her heart, and maybe a t shirt, unless there’s a catch.
-Brian from Toolshed Jack
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